QA Engineer • Bug Slayer • Test Architect _
// I break things before your users do 🐛
"They said 'it works on my machine' — so I added my machine to the test suite.
Now it doesn't work anywhere. Progress."
// "A QA without their tools is just someone complaining eloquently."
"Give me an app and 10 minutes. I'll find something the devs swore was impossible."
"Why click it once when a script can click it a thousand times and find the one time it breaks?"
"The UI lied to me. The API never does. That's why I test both."
"Your app loads in 200ms for you. Let me introduce you to 500 simultaneous users."
> also in the toolkit
// "Every bug I file is a feature I saved." — Sun Tzu, probably.
// "If you think good testing is expensive, try shipping bad software."
// "My commits are like my bug reports — detailed, reproducible, and slightly alarming."
Looking to hire a QA engineer who will find bugs your developers
swore didn't exist?
I'm currently open to
full-time, part-time, and freelance QA opportunities. I
work best in teams that actually care about quality — shocking
concept, I know.